A Child’s Birthday in Norway: Who to Invite, How Much to Spend and Where to Host the Party?

When organising a Norwegian barnebursdag, or children’s birthday party, very practical questions arise. Can you invite only your child’s closest friends? Should parents stay? What should you buy so that the gift is neither too expensive nor too modest? It is worth asking other parents in the class and staff at the school or kindergarten. Customs may differ even between schools in the same town.

This is the moment to check the shared arrangements before your child starts handing out invitations. Guidelines from the Norwegian organisation Redd Barna recommend inviting the entire class or group, all boys, all girls, or another group selected in a way that avoids excluding anyone. The purpose of these guidelines is easy to understand through an example: if nine out of ten girls receive an invitation, the one left out may feel the exclusion very deeply. Similar arrangements are described by the FAU at Korsvoll School in Oslo. FAU is a parent representative body that works with the school. Its recommendations are a starting point for agreements within classes, so they should not be treated as a single set of rules for all of Norway. At kindergarten, also check how the institution defines the group of children to be invited: it may mean one class, one age group, or all boys or girls in a particular group.

Do not send your child in with envelopes before checking. For example, Noas Park Kindergarten in Fredrikstad allows invitations to be handed out on site if they include an entire specified group. If only selected children are invited, invitations should be sent privately. The rules at your child’s school or kindergarten may be different. The simplest questions to ask are: Can invitations be handed out at the institution? Who must be invited in that case? Sending a message to parents does not, however, remove the issue of exclusion. Children will later talk about the party. It is therefore worth considering both the method of inviting and the guest list. If there is a serious conflict behind the choice of guests, or if your child is worried about another pupil, talk to their teacher. When planning the party, also take the birthday child’s safety and comfort into account.

You receive an invitation and another dilemma appears: how much should you spend? There is no single amount that applies to all Norwegian schools. Parents may agree on a limit within their class. For example, the FAU at Korsvoll School suggests agreeing on a moderate ceiling, such as NOK 50–100, or on a shared way of giving gifts. This is an example of a local recommendation, not a price list applicable across the whole country. In the model described by this school, parents buy a gift for their own child on behalf of the class, while invited classmates make handmade cards. Before making a purchase, ask: Do we have an agreed amount for a gift, or do children bring only cards? Such arrangements help with planning expenses. For example, 20 parties per year and a NOK 100 gift for each comes to NOK 2,000 in total. With two children, the costs can multiply quickly. If parents have agreed on a limit, there is no need to exceed it in order to make a good impression.

Before you start looking for a paid venue, ask the school or municipality whether you can borrow a room. In some places, children’s birthday parties can be held without paying for the venue:

• Moss: the 2026 price list sets the cost at NOK 0 for hiring a kindergarten or gymnasium for such an event at the institution attended by the child.
• Storfjord: free use of municipal premises is available to pupils inviting the whole class. From 2026, this also applies to kindergarten children if all children from the same age group at the kindergarten are invited.

These are local arrangements. In your municipality, you need to check availability, conditions and any possible costs. When booking, also ask about cleaning, keys, access to the kitchen and toilets. In Moss, the price list includes additional charges, among other things, for ordered cleaning and for call-outs after an alarm is triggered. You can also suggest a joint party to other parents if the children have birthdays around the same time. This makes it possible to share shopping, preparations and supervision.

The parent of an invited child needs specific details: where to come, what time to pick up their child, and whether they should stay. Include the following in the invitation:

• the date, address, and start and end times;
• the deadline and phone number for confirming attendance;
• information on whether parents should stay;
• a request to report allergies and other needs;
• any arrangements concerning gifts, if these have been agreed in the class.

For younger children, it is worth agreeing in advance with parents whether they need to be present. If the party takes place outdoors, also specify what clothing will be needed.

No reply makes shopping and planning more difficult. Do not leave the hosts guessing. A short message is enough: Takk for invitasjonen! [Name] kommer gjerne. This means: “Thank you for the invitation! [Name] would be happy to come.” If your child cannot attend: Takk for invitasjonen! Dessverre kan [name] ikke komme denne gangen. This means: “Thank you for the invitation! Unfortunately, [name] cannot come this time.” Before organising your own party, start with three questions for parents in the class or kindergarten staff: who are we inviting, what have we agreed about gifts, and can we use a room? This will help avoid misunderstandings and adapt the birthday celebration to your circumstances. Sources

• Redd Barna / Foreldreutvalgene — guidance for parents on friendship and inviting children.
• Korsvoll School, Oslo — FAU recommendations on birthdays, gifts and joint parties.
• Noas Park Kindergarten, Fredrikstad — rules for handing out invitations.
• Moss Municipality — 2026 price list for the use of school premises.
• Storfjord Municipality — free venues for birthday parties and the expansion of the scheme from 2026.